The 2003 Senior Prize Giving: A Shambles

7:00pm to 9:00pm?

You could just tell that the 2003 Senior Prize Giving for my heinous high school (I won’t say any names in particular – I am scared) was going to be just one fuck up after another the moment it became public that the event was to be held from 7:00pm (yes, the evening) to 9:00pm instead of the usual during school, afternoon time. The worst thing about the whole affair was that the nasty senior staff had ‘rigged’ it so that you would have to go, unless you wanted to end up as some kind of rabies-infected hobo in the near future. They did this by handing out our examination entry forms to us only if we were present at the prize giving. That was fucking nasty I thought. Not to mention illegal; it was basically a hostage situation, with your examination entry form as the hostage, and your presence as the ransom money. Following the escapades of the night, however, I would be surprised if there was ever another Prize Giving held outside of school hours again.

A student protest, or just a lack of discipline outside of school hours?

Well, I don’t know, and to be frank, I don’t care. What did happen was amusing, however. And it’s not like it started off okay and got worse and worse, it was a mess which lasted for the whole event. Now, during earlier prize giving’s, the students of the audience knew when it is time to start hence fell quiet very quickly and in unison, just like magic. Well, during this one, the deputy principal had to stand up on the stage looking grumpy (seen right) whilst retard students had to yell ‘Shhh! Shhh! Shhh!’, just to get the volume of talking down to an acceptable level. This whole part lasted for around a minute, which is around 59.6 seconds longer than in previous, afternoon prize givings.

The next bit was pretty bad as well. As usual, a group of indigenous warriors began to dance and yell inanely (it’s known as the ‘haka’.), but not ‘as usual’, the students of the audience began to snigger uncontrollably. This sniggering, with the occasional disembodied sentence continued as the teachers slowly meandered onto the stage, whilst looking around as if to say ‘This isn’t meant to be happening, is it?’. The national anthem was then sang. This part was not done too badly, actually. Right, so that was the opening part. Pretty shabby? Oh yes. But the funnier bits are yet to come.

A moment of…silence?

The actual event itself ‘kicked off’ with a moment of silence in memory of a deceased teacher. Well, it would have been silent, if it weren’t for the blatant sniggering and loud movements of the audience. Hmm. Next up was a speech from a guest speaker, a Professor, who, might I add had no relevance to my heinous high school or a prize giving at all. Clearly, no one was interested in what the poor gentleman had to say as again, the student body shuffled and loudly whispered away in response. The sadder part of this was that the staff obviously didn’t want to be there either, as they did not look around evilly or unhappily at the restless audience.

The handing out of the Year 11 and 12 awards went surprisingly smoothly, considering the deposition of the audience. The Year 11 dean, who announced the prize winners for Year 11 obviously didn’t want to be a part of the shambles though, as shown by a lack of enthusiasm when announcing such things as ‘…sadly couldn’t be here’ and ‘…well done to all the boys…”, in a blatant monosyliphic tone. And who could blame him? After all, it was like 8:00 pm by this stage. Fucking hell, that’s bed time for some people!

The Head Boy’s speech – unwittingly made things worse.

The head boy’s speech (a replication of which is shown to the right) was a typical head boy speech, but with a few twists. And I sincerely doubt that such twists would have been instigated had the head boy known how restless the audience was going to be. You see, the head boy would make a joke, which was followed by a member of the school’s orchestra banging on a drum, just like in the movies! Only, each time the drums were banged, the audience just started to talk uncontrollably, and would take like a minute each time to calm down again. Actually, after this speech, things really started to descend into ineptitude. I wonder why?

The Year 13 awards – the highlight of the evening!

It was during the presentation of the Year 13 awards that the audience really picked up in it’s rowdy protests. As recipients wandered across the stage, very, very loud laughter and blatant name calling could be heard from the audience. And did the staff apparently care? No. I’m being perfectly honest when I say that during some parts of this presentation, the amount of noise coming from the audience would easily equal that of what is heard during lunchtime or such. The highlight here was when this student in a zebra suit (right) wandered across the stage, yelled ‘FUCK YOU ALL! I WANT TO GO HOME!’ to the audience and tumbled down the stairs. He received extreme abuse from the audience.

(Note: Some parts of the above paragraph are untrue.)

The ‘nemesis’ wins!

The special awards, which are presented at the end of the event to ‘special’ students, are something of the unspecified kind. My personal fave is the ‘Service to the School Award’, which is truly unspecified. How do you get it? Anyway, the most prestigious academic award is the Dux. And who won it? The ‘nemesis’ of course!

Erm... Something’s wrong here. Remember, the ‘nemesis’ is the retard who answered with ‘’..because you were once my friend’ when asked why he was my nemesis. He is also the guy to reckons that he will kill me in the future, when I have forgotten about him. Oh, he is also the guy to who tried to run me over with his fantastic white car.

Oh, that’s right. He’s weally, weally good at Maths. All of his subjects are weally, weally mathematical. You never have to answer ‘why’ in Maths. That makes perfect sense.

Well done ‘nemesis’!

I have my very own award to present to the ‘nemesis’. It’s called the ‘Fuck You Award’ and looks like this: ( . ) ( . )

The presentation of the Dux was really bizzare. Not only had the first retard to ever receive the honour of Dux in the history of the universe crossed the stage, but all of the staff on stage stood up and clapped. I was humbled by their immense powers.

Of course, no presentation of the Dux for that particular the evening would be complete without extreme talking and laughter from the audience. By this stage (it was like 8:45pm), eveyone just wanted to get the fuck outta there.

The icing on the cake.

After the ‘nemesis’ received his prize, the deputy principal instructed the students to stand whilst the staff and non-student audience left. Of the three hundred or so students there, no one stood. Incredible. Nor did the staff care, they just wandered off the stage very quickly. The icing on the cake for this bit was the fact that the students loudly talked and laughed during the chaos as the guests and staff left the hall.

The most dissipointing part for many however, was the fact that they did not actually hand out the examination forms as promised straight after the prize giving. Infact, you had to go to your form class (ie: you had to leave the prize giving hall) to get them. This meant that it would have been possible to skip the whole bloody fiasco just turn up at like 9:00pm to receive your goods. Arse, I hate the hierarchy.

I can’t help but to wonder what the guests in the audience thought of the whole affray.

I also feel sorry for myself. Boohoo.